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The Trauma Of Loving Someone During A Pandemic

Like a punch to an already stressed-out gut, here's to finding a glimmer of hope amid a not-so-happy corona fairytale ending.

Letting it go so easily, scares me.

We were each other’s liferaft while floating in a sea of uncertainty. For so many months, so many video calls, hours of online dates, and we only scratched the surface of each other’s being.

Now, it’s like we never knew each other at all.

Living and loving in the time of corona was hard, and still is. It was manageable because we did so together - 13 000 miles apart, but we coasted in the same shipwreck that was this shitty situation. We waited for borders to open, to see each other’s faces, to kiss it passionately as we always did, and to build the life we intended in all our almost countless conversations.

Then one day… POOF! He couldn’t wait. The pandemic pushed him over the edge. And suddenly, as if the last 8 months never happened, he disappeared into the abyss.

Corona chaos will leave many of us with a form of PTSD, a trauma that taunts. Everyone’s experience, so different, but so utterly and completely real.

The best way for me to now deal with it, is to talk about it. I don’t want to. The shame, the embarrassment of it all. Being a cliche is perhaps the worst part. I thought our long-distance relationship would beat the odds. We were special, mos.  Now, I feel thrown-away. Like a candy wrapper, he couldn’t even have bothered tossing in the bin. The floor did just fine.

Or was I just the carnage left behind in his own COVID-trauma? Does fading into the night offer him perspective and light? I honestly never understood this route, the ghost that hides, that slithers away like a coward, too weak to kick up a fight. Fight for something worth having GODDAMMIT!

Tap into your trauma.

Teaching each other to understand one another’s unique brand of trauma, whether pandemic-induced or otherwise, might help bring us back. Not back to where we were before, or back to normal, but back to life. Like dry flakes of skin we need to exfoliate and shed, not fix, but brush away continuously, in order to heal.

Mainly, so that we can again respect ourselves, and others.

To the man I loved, and still love, I only have one more thing to say:

You were the best thing that happened to me in 2020. Interpret that as you wish.
 (illustration by Daniel Ting Chong @danieltingchong)

Size Guide

We want you to be entirely satisfied with the way your ring fits. That means we need a little help from you before you choose your size.

Step One

Take a piece of string and wrap it around the base of your finger.

Step Two

Using a pen, mark the point on the string where the end meets.

Step Three

Using a ruler, measure this length in mm.

Step Four

Match your measurement to the table below.

Extra Tips

Don’t forget to allow for enough room to get the ring over your knuckle.

Remember that all of your fingers probably have different measurements. Make sure you measure the specific finger you are buying the ring for.

To be 100% sure, measure your finger at the end of the day. That’s when it is most likely to be at its largest.

US 6
51.9mm circumference
US 7
54.4mm circumference
US 8
57mm circumference